How to win friends and influence people Hindi Summary And Ebook (pdf)
By- Dale Carnegie
---------- About Book ----------
अगर आप बेहतर काम और पर्सनल रिलेशनशिप्स चाहते हैं, अगर आप लोगों को असरदार तरीके से मैनेज करना चाहते हैं, अगर आप चाहते हैं कि ज़्यादा से ज़्यादा लोग आपको पसंद करें, तो आपको इस बुक को पढ़ना चाहिए. डेल कार्नेगी का ये
क्लासिक उन लेसंस से भरा हुआ है जिन्हें आप अपने जीवन में अप्लाई कर सकते हैं. कई लिस्ट हैं जिनका उपयोग आप एक मैनेजर के रूप में, एक लीडर के रूप में, एक फ्रेंड के रूप में और लाइफ पार्टनर के रूप में कर सकते हैं.
यह बुक किसे पढनी चाहिए
शादी शुदा कपल
मैनेजर्स
जो लीडर बनना चाहते हैं
रेगुलर एम्प्लॉईज़.
ऑथर के बारे में
डेल कार्नेगी एक ऑथर और लेक्चरर हैं. उन्होंने सेल्समैनशिप, पब्लिक स्पीकिंग, इंटरपर्सनल स्किल्स और सेल्फ-इंप्रूवमेंट पर कई कोर्स बनाये हैं .डेल कार्नेगी ट्रेनिंग इंस्टीटुए दुनिया भर में लीडरशिप और पर्सनल ग्रोथ के लिए लोगों की मदद करते हैं.
---------- Summary ----------
HOW TO WIN FRIENDS AND INFLUENCE PEOPLE
Kisi ne theek hi kaha hai, kisi bhi insaan ko influence kar unse kaam nikalvana ek art hota hai... Aur Is book mein diye gaye principles ki madad se aap isi kalaa kosikhenge. inn principles ko jaan kar naa sirf aap apna confidence badha sakhtein hain, balki logon ko positively influence karne ka tareeka bhi seekh saktein hain. Phir chaahein aap ek student ho, ek businessman ho yaa phir aap apne doston k beech popular hona chahtein ho.
thoda sa samay de kar inn principles ko practice karte hi aap apne aas paas k logo se apna koi bhi kaam aasaani se kara sakte ho. Toh chaliye sabse pehle hum unn fundamental techniques ki baat kartein hain, jinse aap logon ko aasaani se handle kar sakte ho
PRINCIPLE 1 – Don’t criticise, condemn or complain.
yaani logo ki kadwe sabdon mein Aalochna, Ninda aur Shikayat na karein.
Principle 1 hum se yeh kehta hai ki kisi bhi vyakti ki aalochna ya ninda karne se pehle hum us vyakti ko samajhne ki koshish karein, ki who vyakti is tarah se bartaav kyun karta hai aur iske pichhe ki wajah kya hai. Sach maaniye yeh aalochna aur ninda karne se jyada faaydemand hoga, kyunki aisa karne se us vyakti ke sath sath ham mein bhi sehensheel hone ke bhaav jagruk hote hai.
Is priniciple ko khud the great Abraham Lincoln ne bhi follow kia tha, ek baar unhone apna experience share karte hue kaha k “mein pehle apne virodhiyon ko publically khub criticize kia karta tha, lekin ek baar ek virodhi ne unke criticism se pareshaan hokar unhe Talwaar se maarne ki dhamki de daali, jiske baad se hi Abraham Lincoln darr gaye. Aur unhone kisi ko bhi directly criticize karna chord diya. Itna hi nahi… Lincoln khud yeh baat batate hain k woh dusron ko bhi yahi salah dene lage ki directly criticize karna nuksaandaayak ho sakta hai. isiliye kabhi bhi hume sahi dhang se pesh aana chahiye.
PRINCIPL¬¬E 2 – Give honest and sincere appreciation.
Yaani Puri Imaandari aur achi niyat ke sath saamnewale ki prashansha karein
Ek aisa bhi tarika hai jisse hum kisi bhi insaan se kuch bhi karwa sakte hai aur Principle 2 yahi sikhata hai ki kis tarah se hum aisa karne me kaamyab ho sakte hai. Agar hum Tahe Dil se aur puri imaandari ke sath kisi vyakti ki prashansha karte hai toh iski chhap us vyakti ke dilon dimaag se zindagi bhar nahi chhut-ti. Who hamesha aapki is prashansha ko sanjoy rakhta hai aur aise me yeh laajmi ho jata hai ki who aapki kahi hui baat ko mane.
Aur aapko pasand kare. For eg, Construction sight k manager ko ek badi dikkat ka saamna tab karna padta jab mazdur unke saamne toh unki baat maankar safety head gar/helmet pehen lete… lekin unke jaate hi who us helmet ko mikaal dete. Aise mein us manager ne ek alag tareeka apnaya. Unhone ne is bar bade hi pyaar se mazudron se kaha ki kya unhe yeh helmets ache nahi lag rahein ? ya fir inki fitting kharaab hai? Agar aisa nahi hai, toh unhe yeh helmets pehen ne chahiye… kyuki yeh unki safety k liye hi ban hai. Who nahi chahte k unke kimti workers ko chot lage. Yeh sunte hi azduron ne us waqt se hi helmets rozana pehen na shuru kar dia. Aur us manager kay eh tareeka kaam aaya.
PRINCIPLE 3 – Arouse in the other person an eager want.
Principle 3 – Kisi Anya Vyakti ke mann me utsukta jagruk karna sikhiye yaani logon ko positively encourage yaa motivate kijiye Iska bada sadharan sa example hai, jab aapke paas ek bahut hi zabardast idea hai toh, logon ko yeh kabhi na sochne de ke woh idea aapki hai balki usko badi hi samajhdhari se logon ke dimaag me ghol do taaki unko lage ke yeh ideasirf aapka hi nahi unka bhi hai. Aisa karne se log isse apni yojna samajhkar aur bhi jyada madadgaar sabit honge. Is manovigyanik soch ka hum badi aasani se apne professional life me istemal kar sakte hai.
Author Dale Cardnigie apna hi ek experience share karte hue batate hain k ek baar Brookyn Institute of Arts & science mein who students k liye bade hi successful authors ko guest lecture k liye bulana chahte the. Problem yeh thi k sabhi authors kaafi busy the. Is liye Dale ne laghbagh 150 students k saath mil kar ek khat likha aur inn authors ko bhej diya. Iss khat ko padhte hi yeh sabhi busy authors apne apne desh ko chord Brooklyn mein lecture k liye pahuch gaye. Aakhir us letter mein aisa kya likha gaya tha? Well dale ne isi principle ka faayda uthaya.
Us letter par sabhi 150 students ne sign kia tha, aur unn writers se binti ki k agar unke jaise mahaan writer apna samay nikaal kar unhe sikhaenge toh yeh unn students k liye garv ki baat hogi. Bhai aisa letter padh kar toh koi bhi pighal jaae!! Toh yeh thi apne aas-paas k logon ko handle karne ki kuch tarkeebein. Ab hum umeed kartein hain k aap bhi logo se deal karne wali apni social skills ko mazbut bana lenge!
Yeh baat toh aap bhi maanoge. K koi bhi insaan us vyakti ka kaam pehle karta hai yaa us vyakti ki baat manta hai jise woh pasand karte ho! Toh phir chaliye aap bhi sunn lijiye un techniques k baare mein jiski madad se log aapko pasand karne lagege.
PRINCIPLE 1 – Become genuinely interested in other people.yaani Sahi maayno me logon me apni dilchaspi dikhana
Agar aap chahte hai ki log aapko pasand karein, aur agar aap sachchi dosti kayam karna chahte haitoh is principle ko hamesha dhyan me rakhein. Agar hum kisi ka sachcha dost banna chahte hai toh humein puri lagan se unke liye apne waqt ke sath sath apna mann bhi invest karna hoga aur apne swarth ko pare rakhna hoga. Jiska ek bahut hi sahi udahran yeh hai, ki jab hum kisi ke sath dosti ki shuruwat karte hai aur agar isi shuruwati samay me usi ki matra bhasha me baat karte hai toh who vyakti hamein jyada pasand karta hai.ab isse humara matlab yeh bilkul nahi hai k aap logo ki haan mein haan milaaye.
For eg, kisi bhi successful business interview ka raaz aakhir kya ho sakta hai? Well former Harvard president Charles.W. Eliot k anusaar successful business interview k peeche koi bada raaz nahi hai. Yahan Aapko bas ek hi cheez karni hoti hai. Aur who hai saamne wale insaan ko kaafi baariki se sunna. Unmein badi dilchaspi dikhana. Kyuki aap agar unhe ehemiyat dete ho. toh who bhi aapko zabardast reponse dene lagtein hain.
PRINCIPLE 2 – Remember that a person’s name is to that person the most important sound in any language.Har insaan ke liye uska apna naam sabse jyada jaruri hota hai. warna aise hi thodi naa har koi apne naam ko roshan karna chahta hai.
Famous writer Shakespeare ne bakhoobi kaha hai What’s in a name? yaani ‘Naam me kya rakha hai’ lekin sahab shayad yeh baat bhul gaye ke har insaan ke liye sabse jyada jaruri hota hai uska naam. Kyuni naam ki wajah se hi humein ek dusre se alag hote hai. Naam har insan ki pehchan hoti hai aur agar hum kisi insaan ko uske naam se bulaye toh yeh jyada kaargar sabit hota hai. Aur yeh principle aap apne se niche tabke ke sath aajma kar dekh sakte hai. Jaise driver, waiter ya office ka chaprasi. Apna naam sunna har kisi ko pasand hota hai.
PRINCIPLE 3 – Talk in terms of the other person’s interests. Principle 3– Dusre Insaan ke interests ki baatein karein.Hum agar kisi ke sath jyada der tak bina bore kiye baatein karna chahte hai toh yeh principle humein yaad rakhna hoga ke humein us insaan ke interest ki baatein karni chahiye. Isse aap dono ki baatein aur bhi jyada interesting ho jayengi aur kaafi der tak chalengi. Jaise hum agar kisi insan se pehli baar milte hai aur sirf apne bare me hi baat karte jate hai toh isse us insan ka interest dheere dheere kam hota hua nazar aayega... lekin agar hum us insan ke uske interest ki baatein karte hai toh aap ke sath sath us insan ko bhi aapse baat karne me maja aayega.
Ab jaise ki William Lyon jo ki ek literature k professor hain, batatein hain k jab who 10 saal k the toh who apni aunty k yaha weekends spend kiya karte the. Ek shaaam ek middle aged aadmi unki aunty se milne pahuchein aur kuch samay unki aunty k saath bitaane k baad unhone apna sara dhyaan nanhe William par lagaya. Us waqt unhe boats mein kaafi dilchaspi thi, is liye who visitor bhi unse boats k baare mein hi baat karne lage, unhe us aadmi se baat karne mein kafi maza aa raha tha.
Aur jaise hi who wahan se chale gaye. Nanhe William ne unki tareef apni aunty se karna shuru kr dia. Lekin who tab chaunk gaye jab unki aunty ne unhe bataya k who aadmi new York mein ek lawyer the, aur unhe darasal boats mein koi ruche nahi, who toh sirf tumse baat karna chah rahe the, aur tumhari batein vo is liye itni dilchaspi se sunn rahe the kyunki who ek gentleman hain.
PRINCIPLE 6 – Make the other person feel important-and do it sincerely. Logon ko ehemiyat dijiye. Aur unhe mehsus karayein ke wo khaas hai. Jaisa ki humne Principle 5 me bataya ki dusre insan ka interest build karna bahut jaruri hota hai aur yeh mumkin ho pata hai us insan ke interest ke bare mein baatein karne se aur ab is principle se humein yeh pata chalta hai ki us insaan ko khaas saabit karana bhi utna hi jaruri hai. Yeh bahut jaruri hai ki hamari baaton se dusre insaan ko yeh lagne lage ke who hamare liye bahut maayne rakhte hai. Isse aapke aur us insaan ke bich ke rishte aur bhi gehre hote chale jayenge.
Yeh principle aapko is choti si story se clearly samajh aa jaaega. Ek din David apne kuch sharabi doston ko late night ek party k baad safely apni car mein ghar pahucha rahe the. Lekin tabhi sign board dekhne k baawajud David ne jaan bujh kar galat turn le liya, aur tabhi unhe ek traffic police officer ne rok liya, unhone David se pucha “Kya tum jaante ho mene tumhe kyu roka hai” Ab agar is situation mein, David baaki logo ki tarah Traffic police ko rude reply dete toh woh phans jaate. Lekin David ne badi hi samajhdaari aur imaandaari se apni galti maani aur saath hi saath yeh bhi keh diya “I’m sorry sir, mein jaanta hu k meine galti ki hai, aur sign board dekhne k baawajud mene galat turn liya.
Jo bhi jurmaana hai mein bharne k liye taiyaar hu, apni duty nibhaane k liye aapka bohot shukriya. Desh ko aap jaise police officers ki hi zarurat hai” ab yeh sunte hi maano police officer k kaano mein David ne shehed ghol diya ho. Unhone naa sirf David ko maaf kiya balki unka license lautakar apne sharabi doston ko safely ghar pahuchaane ki zimmedaari par shabashi bhi di. Aur wahan se bina jurmaana k hi unhe jaane diya.Bhai waah David!!Toh dekha doston, Inn sabhi principles ko ab aap achi tarah se jaan chuke ho. Toh inhe practice kijiye aur dekhiye ki kis tarah aapke aas paas k log aapko pasand karne lagenge.
How to Win People to Your Way of Thinking Logo ko handle karne aur logon k favrioute ban-ne k baad ab hum jaanege ki Apni Soch se logo ko kaise jeetaja sakta hai
PRINCIPLE 1 – The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
Principle 1 – Ek zabardast Argument ko ek hi tareeke se jeeta jaa sakta hai aur woh hai use avoid karke. Jee haanAakhirkar hum is conclusion par aa chuke hai ki duniya me kisi bhi argument ka best result pane ke liye kya karna chahiye aur woh hai uss Argument ko avoid karna. Kisi bhi argument ko usi tarah avoid karna chahiye jis tarah hum kisi nashedi yaa sharaabi ko avoid karne ki koshish karte hai. Kyunki aamtor par koi bhi argument bas ek hi note par khatam hoti hai aur who hai asehmati. Kyunki 10 me se 9 log argument ke baad is baat par aur bhi jyada sure ho jate hai ke unka manna aur unki soch sahi hai. Aur isse aapas me aur bhi jyada mat bhed paida ho jate hai. Isliye behtar yahi hai ki ise avoid kiya jaye.
PRINCIPLE 2 – Show respect for the other person’s opinions. Never say, “You’re wrong.”
Principle 2 – Dusro ki Opinion ki ijjat karo, Yeh kabhi na kehna ke, ‘Tum Galat Ho’
Hum kisi ki burayi sidhe sidhe nahi kar sakte. Aisa karne se hum kisi ko apna dushman khud bana sakte hai. Kyunki bahut kam log aise hai jo apni burayi sunna pasand karte hai. Kisi ko yeh kehna ke woh galat hai use bura feel karne par majbur kar sakta hai balki aap yeh keh sakte hai ki kaise woh apni khaamiyon ko dur kar sakte hai. For eg, Sochiye k aap ek company k manager hain. Aur company mein incentives dene ka ek naya system laana chahtein hain.
Toh aap apne system o kis tarah present karenge? Zyada tar log yeh batatein hain, k current system mein kahan khamiyan hain, aur phir apne new idea ko defend ya promote karne mein jut jaatein hain. Lekin yeh ek galat rasta hai. Meeting mein yeh sabse pehle yeh puchna zyada behtar rahega k sabhi k mutaabik on going system mein kya problems hain, phir apne ideas ko saamne rakhte hue unke opinions jaane. Is tarah se naa sirf aapke idea ko accept kia jaaega, balki usme sabhi kaafi interested ho jaaenge.
PRINCIPLE 3 – If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
Principle 3 – Agar aap galat hai toh turant hi apni galti ko maankar maafi maang lena aapke liye faaydemand rahega.Jab hum kisi baat me sahi hote hai toh humare andar ek alag hi confidence hota hai jo hamari baaton me aur hamare behaviour me saaf saaf dekha ja sakta hai lekin jab hum kisi baat me galat hote hai toh hamara confidence gir jata hai aur sath hi hum apne aap ko defend bhi karne ki koshish karte hai, lekin humein yeh principle dhyan me rakhna hoga ki jab kabhi hum galat hote hai toh hume turant hi use accept kar lena chahiye,
Yeh baat hamare purvaj hamesha se hi kehte aarahe hai ki apni galti maanne se koi chhota nahi hota. Aur yeh baat humein yeh principle bhi sikhata hai ki humein apni galti ko sweekar kar lena chahiye. Kyunki galti karne ke baad use defend karne se jyda faaydemand yeh hai ki apni galti ko muskurahat ke sath maan lein. Iska siddha udaharan author Dale Carnegie ne apne real life incident ko share karte hue is kitab mein bataya hai, Dale ne bataya k woh apne pet dog ko jungle mein walk k liye le jaate the, kyuki jungle k aas paas koi bhi nahi hota is liye woh use chain se nahi baandhte the.
Lekin ek din ek police inspector ne unhe is tarah dekh liya aur author ko jamkar daant lagai saath hi saath yeh bhi keh diya k agli baar agar unhone unke pet dog ko khule aam dekha toh woh unhe court mein le jaayenge. Ab kuch dino tak toh Dale Carnegie ne police man ki baat maan kar apne pet dog ko chain se bandh kar rakha taaki aas paas k log aur baki chote jaanvar surakhshit rahein.
Lekin ek din firse dale ne apne kutte ko apni chain se nahi bandha aur is baar dobara usi inspector ne Dale ko dekh liya/ lekin isse pehle ki inspector kuch bol paate, author Dale ne khud hi apni galti maante hue unse keh diya k sorry mene dobara aapki baat nahi maani mein kitna gairzimmedaar hu. Yeh sunte hi police officer ka dil maano pighal gaya ho. Unhone kaha aree koi baat nahi itne pyaare dog ko baandhne ka aakhir kiska mann karega. Lekin fir bhi Dale apni galti k liye maafi maang rahe the. Aur police officer ne unhe maaf kar diya who bhi bina kuch kahe.Toh dekha doston, Dale ki yahi baat hume sikhaati hai k apni galti maan lene se masla aasaan ho jata hai… aur hume zyada takleef ka saamna nahi karna padta.
PRINCIPLE 8 – Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view.
Principle 8 – saamne wale vyakti ki soch ko samjhe. Kai baar hamari nazron me ek insaan kaafi galat hota hai lekin hamari soch se theek pare us insaan ke mann me yeh bhaav hote hai ki who bilkul sahi hai. yahi hoti hai apni apni soch, jo jaruri nahi ki hum sab ki ek jaisi ho. Humein apne aap ko unki jagah par rakh kar sochne ki koshish karni chahiye tabhi hum unhe behtar tareeke se samjah ne me kaamyab ho payenge.Aur shayad is kahani se aap is principle ko thoda behtar samajh paaenge.
Mr. Carter apni patni ko hamesha ek baat k liye taane kaste the, ki aakhir who sara samay garden mein paudho ko sawaarne mein kyu beetati hai… Mr Carter ki baton se pareshaan hone k baad bhi Mrs. Carter unhe kuch nahi kehtin, lekin ek lambe samay k baad soch vichaar kar aakhir kaar Mr. carter ko apni galti ka ehsaas hua. Unhe pata chala k unki patni ko gardening karna kitna pasand tha, aur yeh k unhi ki wajah se Mr. Carter ka garden sabse badhiya tha. Lekin apni patni ki tareef karne k bajay who unhe daatan karte. Aakhir kaar Mr. Carter ne garden mein vyast apni patni se maafi mangi, aur unki taareef karte hue unke saath garden mein time bhi spend kia. Kuch is tarah Mr. carter ne apni patni k vicharo ko samjha aur apni zindagi behtar banai.
PRINCIPLE 10 – Appeal to the nobler motives.
Principle 10 – Hamesh ek ache aur nek kaaran ko dyaan mein rakhein. Aam taur par log 2 tareekon se react karte hai ek jo unka mann kehta hai aur dusra jo unhe thik lagta hai. Inn dono baton mein fark hai. Logon ka us raaste ko chunna jyada aasan hota hai jo unhe sahi lage. Lekin asliyat mein ek acha insaan hamesha is baat ka khayal rakhta hai ke uske kisi bhi bartaav se logo par kya asar hoga. Yaani who apne Noble Motive ko kabhi nahi bhulta. Aur yahi baat naturally uske liye faaydemand hoti hai.
PRINCIPLE 11 – Dramatise your ideas.
Principle 11 – Apne sabhi ideas ko bade hi zabardast tareeke se pesh karein. Kayi baar sirf sach kehna hi kaafi nahi hota. Aapko sach ke sath thoda bohot masala bhi lagana hota hai aur apne sach ko ya apni soch ko aur bhi jyada interesting banana padta hai. Aapko kisi showman ki tarah bade hi naatkiya dhang se apne aap ko present karna hota hai, uske baad hi aapko attention mil sakti hai. Kayi baar hum kuch baaton ko samjhane ke liye alag alag tarah ki ranneeti apnate hai kyunki hum jante hai ki saaf lafzo me kehna kaafi nahi hoga.
Jaise hum filmo me dekhte hai, koi kitni bhi sadharan si sachchi kahani kyun na ho lekin filmkaar ko use apne darshak tak pahunchane ke liye naatkiya roop apnana hi padta hai theek usi tarah humein apni soch ko naatkiya roop dena jaruri ho jata hai. Aisa hi kuch kia Indiana ki katherine Williams ne, jinhe apni job mein kuch dikkat ho rahi thi, aur who yeh problem apne boss k saath share karna chaah rahi thi. Lekin aisa nahi ho paya. Unke boss apne busy schedule ki wjah se unse apni meeting ko taal rah the, aur naa hi unki secretary theek se jawaab de rahi thi. Ek hafta yuh hi beetne wala tha aur Katherine ko jawaab chahiye tha.
Finally unhone apne boss ko ek note likha jiske andr ek formal letter bhi tha. “Mein jaanti hu aap kitne busy honge. Apne schedule ki wajah se lekin aap please mujhe is form mein 2 blanks ko bhar kar mujhe de diiye. Pehla k aap mujhe kis date par mil rahein hain, aur dusra k aap mujhe aapna kitna samay denge” yeh dekhte hi Catherine k boss impress hue aur unhone Catherine ko turant hi meeting ki.jiske baad finally unki problem solve hui.
PRINCIPLE 12 – Throw down a challenge.
Principle 12 –logon ko positively Challenge karien. Taaki who apna best kar paaye.Ek bohot bade behavorial scientist Frederic ne apni saalon ki research se yeh jaanne ki koshish ki hai ek chhoti si factory me kaam karne wale majdur se lekar ek badi company ke senior executive tak ke liye motivating factor kya hota hai. Frederic ne hazaaron workers se yeh jaanne ki koshish ki unhe protsahan kahan se milta hai, jisme unhone 3 cheezom ka zikr bhi kiya, tankhwa, aaramdayak kaam karne ki jagah ya phir kuch aur. Jab is research ke result saamne aaye toh who Frederic ko chaunkadene wale the, Kyunki result hi kuch aise the.
Darhasal logo ko sabse jyada khud unke kaam ne hi motivate kiya tha, jisse yeh saaf ho gaya tha Jyada tankhwa aur achchi working environment se jyada logon ko unke kaam ne prabhavit kiya tha. Isse yeh saaf hota hai ki agar kisi ka kaam hi interesting ho aur exciting ho toh log aur mann laga kar kaam karte hai, aur unhe kisi aur cheez ki jarurat nahi padti motivate hone ke liye. Aur sath hi sath apne aap aur jyada nikharne ke liye log khud mehnat karte hai taaki who competition me bhi bane rahe aur apne aap ko aur nikhar sake. Kyunki jahan baat challenge ki aati hai toh log challenge me bane rehne ko aur apne aap ko saabit karne ke liye jee jaan se mehnat karte hai.
Ek leader banna ek badi quality hoti hai. jiski samaj ki har vyakti ko zarurat hai. Toh chaliye jaan te hain k logon ko bina bhadkaaye yaa naraaz kiye hum kis tarah change kar sakte hain
PRINCIPLE 1 – Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
puri imaandari ke sath logon ki taareef karein.Taareef aur prashansha ke sath agar hum apne din ki shuruwat karte hai toh isse hum kisi bhi insaan ke bartaav me alag hi chamak dekhte hai. Jaise hum apni office me subah subah jate hai aur apne co-workers se milte hai aur agar unke sath badi hi garmjoshi ke sath milna hota hai toh phir din bhar aapke sath sath unka mood bhi thik bana rehta hai. Agar hum kisi ki tareef me kuch baat karte hai toh yeh baat kaafi lambe arse tak yaad rehti hai aur isse aapke aur us insaan ke rishte ko aur bhi jyada majbuti deti hai.
Udhaaran k taur par agar aap kisi se pehli bar mil rahein hain aur aapko yeh nahi pata k unse baat kaise krien yaa kis topic par karien, toh sabse pehle aapko us insan ko observe karne k baad unki kisi khaas cheez yaa kaam ki tareef krni chahiye… aisa krne se who insaan naa sirf aapke saath comfortable hone lagte hain… blki aapko psand bhi kar lete hai. Yaani ek teer se do nishane.
PRINCIPLE 2 – Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly.
Principle 2 –Galtiyan sabse hoti hain, aap unki Galtiyaan batao lekin indirectly. Jisse ki unhe buran aa lage. mushkilein tab badh jati hai jab humein kisi ko unki khaamiyan batani ho, ya phir jab humein kisi ki aalochna karni ho. Is principle se hum yeh sikhte hai ki jab kabhi humein aisa karna ho toh, yeh baat hamesha yaad rakhein ki kisi bhi insan ki aalochna karne se pehle uski tareef karna jaruri hai, us insan ko pehle yeh batayein ke uski khoobiyaan kya hai. Aisa karne se vo insaan kam bura manta hai. Agar hum kisi ki burayi ya uski khamiyan siddha siddha batate hai toh aise me uska bura manne ki possibility badh jati hai.
Maslan, John apni steel ki companies mein se ek k paas se guzar rahe the, aur tabhi unhone waha kuch workers ko no smoking board k theek neeche smoke karte dekha. Lekin john ne unhone sidhe sidhe daantne k bajaaye, unn workers ko ek ek cigare pakda di aur kaha “Mujhe acha lagega agar aap sabhi yeh cigare piye lekin bahar jaa kar” Unn workers ko samajh aa gaya tha k unki Galati kya thi. Bhai aise insaan ko aakhir kaun nahi pasand karega.
PRINCIPLE 4 – Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
Principle 4 – Sidhe sidhe orders dene se behtar hai ke sawal puchein jaaye. Agar wakayi me Hum chahte hai ki apni ek alag pehchan banaye aur logon ke beech apne aap ko stand out karna chahte hai toh Yeh principle bohot jyada mayne rakhta hai. Kyunki is principle ki madad se hum yeh sikh sakte hai ki kis tarah se hum apne aap ko ek leader ke taur par ubhar sakte hai. Isme sabse eham baat yeh hai ki hum kisi ko siddhe aadesh dene se behtar unse sawal kar sakte hai, jaise ke is udahran me, ek baar ek chhoti si factory ke manager ko is baat ki chinta sata rahi thi who aur unke factory me kaam karne wale employee waqt par apne client ke order ko pura kaise karenge.
Toh aise naajuk waqt par us manager ne apne employees ko jyada mehnat ke sath kaam karne ke aadesh denenke bajaaye sabhi employees ko bulaya aur unse meeting ki, aur sabhi si kuch sawaal kiye, jiske baat jo result saamne aaya who wakayi kaabile taarif tha. Manager ne employees se sawal kiya. “hum is order ko kis tarah se sambhal sakte hai?” iske baad manager ne kuch aur sawal kiye... jaise, “kya koi kuch sujhav de sakta hai ki is order ko kaise pura kiya ja sakta hai?” “Kya koi tareeka hai jisse hum time ko manage kar order ko pura karein?”
Ab ek ke baad ek sabhi employees se alag alag tarah ke sujhav aana shuru ho gaye jisse kaam ko pura karne me kaafi jyada aasani hui. Jahan pehle order ko pura karne ki tension sirf manager ko thi ab wahin sab employees ne milkar is jimmedari ko apna bana liya tha aur sabhi ka attitude ‘hum milkar yeh pura kar sakte hai’ me badal gaya tha. Aur hua bhi kuch aisa hi, Order ko samay par pura kar liya gaya.
Ab isme samajhne wali baat yeh hai ki agar Manager ne shuruwat me hi apne employees ko aadesh diya hota ke kaam ko kisi bhi haal me samay par pura karna hai toh shayad aisa kar pana mumkin nahi hota lekin Manager ne samajhdhari dikhate hue apne employees se meeting kar kuch sawal kiye aur nateeja saamne tha. Isi tarah se aap bhi is principle ko apnate hue leader banne ki ek eham quality ko apne andar dhal sakta hai.
PRINCIPLE 5 – Let the other person save face.
Principle 5 – Dusro ka aatmasamman badhana Agar koi insaan kabhi apni hi najro se gir jata hai toh yeh us insaan ke liye sabse jyada nirasha janak hota hai aur isse bahar nikalne ke liye us insaan ko kaafi samay lagta hai. Kisi insan ko chhota feel karana us insan ka aatmavishwas tahas nahas karne jaisa hai. Kyunki aakhir me kisi insan ke liye yeh maayne nahi rakhta ke kaun uske bare me kya sochta hai balki har insan ke liye yeh jyada jaruri hai ki who khud apne bare me kya sochta hai.
Maslan, ek 10 saal k bache ko gaane ka shaukh tha, lekin uske teacher yeh kehkar use demotivate kr dete hain k use gana nhi ganna chahiye kyuki uski aawaaz bhaddi hai. Par us 10 saal k bache ki maa haar nhi maanti… who use protsaahit karti hai, uski har koshish par use sabaashi deti hai, yeh wahi bacha tha jo ek din opera singing ka badshah kehlaaya gaya, jiska naam tha ENRICO CARUSO.
PRINCIPLE 6 – Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement.
Principle 6 – Ek chhota sa sudhar bhi taareef ka haqdar hai. Is principle ko asal zindagi me dhaalne se aap kisi insan ko sirf sudhar hi nahi sakte balki us insan ko puri tarah se badal sakte hai, us insan ka pura transformation kar sakte hai, Aur iski shuruwat hoti hai ek behad chote se sudhar aur uski sarahna se. Agar hum kisi insan ki khubiyon ko bhaamp kar uski sarahna karte hai toh yeh kaafi hadh tak us insan ke liye aur bhi jyada sudhaar me madad karta hai.
ek baat samajhna bahut jaruri hai aalochna yani criticism se jyada log apni sarahna se inspire hote hai, kyunki un me who confidence build up hota hai ke who wakayi me aisa kar sakte hai. Tommy naam k school k sabse sharaarti student ko isi principle ki mdad se 4th grade teacher Mrs. Hopskin ne sudhara. Class k pehle hi din, Mrs. Hopskin ne sabhi bacho ki taareef ki, aur jaise hi tommy ki baari aayi, Mrs hopskin ne tommy se kaha “Tommy tum ek natural leader aur tum hi is class ko best class banana mei is saal meri madad karoge” us waqt se hi tommy mano badal hi gaya ho. Har improvement k saath who ek behtar stdent ban ta jaa raha tha jiska sara credit jata mrs. Hopskin ko.
PRINCIPLE 8 – Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.
Principle 8 – logo ko motivate karein. Unhe encourage karien Agar aap kisi se siddha siddha yeh kehte hai ki unme kaam karne ki shramta nahi hai aur naa hi aapko unpar bharosa hai, toh aap us insan me kabhi bhi sudhar nahi dekhenge kyunki aap khud aisa kehkar saari possibility ka gala ghont denge. Lekin agar us insan ko yeh darshate hai ki aap unpar pura bharosa karte hai aur aapko yeh vishwas hai ki who apne aapko sudhar bhi sakte hai toh aap us insan me gazhab ka badlav dekhenge kyunki who insan pehle yeh maanne par majbur ho jayege ki wakayi me usme kuch kabiliyat hai aur dusra who puri koshish me jut jayega ki who aapko niraash na kare.
Store owner Mr. Gomes ne yeh bataya k unke store mein ek aise employee tha jo kabhi bhi price tagging ka kaam theek se nahi karta tha, jis wajah se kaafi zyada confusion hoti thi aur consumer ki complaints bhi kaafi badh jaate. Jab baar baar bataaane par bhi us employee par koi asar nahi hua. Toh ek din mrs. Gomes ne unhe cabin mein bula kar pure store k price tagging ka supervisior bana diya. Ab bhale hi yeh aapko bachkana lage lekin us employee ne us k baad zabardast sudhaar dikhaaya, aur apni zimmedarriyon ko bakhubi nibhaya bhi. Toh dekha aapne ki tarah Kisi ko encourage karne ka yeh ek kaargar tareeka hai jisse aapki leadership quality aur bhi jyada nikhar kar samne aati hai.
PRINCIPLE 9 – Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.
Principle 9 – Dhyaan rahein, koi bhi vyakti jab aapke kahe hue kaam ko karein toh khush hokar karien aur pure mann se karein. agar aapko kisi se koi kaam karwana hai toh aap apne kaam ko pehle uski marji se karwayein aur dhyaan rakhein ke use yeh kaam karne me khushi ho.Is kitaab k author Dale Carnegie khud is baat ko maante hain. Ek statement mein unhone kaha tha “Is baat mein do raai nahi k insaan sahi approach aur sahi niyat se apne aas paas k logon ko bade hi aasaani se influence kar sakta hai aur dher saare dost bhi bana sakta hai… lekin kisi bhi insaan se uske marzi k khilaf apna kaam nikalvana kisi bhi ache insaan ki pehchaan bilkul nahi hai”
Toh doston, Yeh manna ek hadh tak galat hoga ki in sabhi principles aur approach ko aajmane ke baad aapko wahi result milega jiski aap kaamna karte hai, kyunki aap yeh kabhi judge nahi kar sakte ke kaun insan kis tarah se bartaav karega, kyunki har insan apne aap me alag hai. Lekin jyadatar logon ke anubhavon ko dhyan me rakh kar yeh kehna bhi galat nahi hoga ki aap in sabhi principles aur apni in approach se logon ke haavbhav me badlav la sakte hai. Agar aap in sabhi principles ka istemal karne me 10% bhi kaamyab hote hai toh aap ek bhaut ache leader ban sakte hai.
Dosto is book me aur bhi aise principles hai aur hum aapko recommend karte hai ki aap ye puri book zarur padhe.
------------------------------
HOW TO WIN FRIENDS AND INFLUENCE PEOPLE
Download E-Book (pdf)
English: Click here
JOIN TELEGRAM FOR AUDIOBOOKS
Recommended: The Quick And Easy Way To Effective Speaking Hindi Summary